| |
| |
|
|
Humor To Make Your Day |
|
|
|
Poor Rixs Almanac 8-13-05
Dear Poor Rix: A guy just invited me to a football game. I do not understand this event. Can you explain it? -- Sport Watcher This game begins with the entrance of referees, people with striped shirts who enforce the rules. Occasionally, someone with striped shirt and long stick may appear, and wander aimlessly. He is a "lost golfer," and must be removed. Next come the cheerleaders, who bounce onto the field, often displaying skimpy uniforms and bare midriffs. And those are just the guys. The girls look even better, and may wave their massive pom-poms to excite the crowd. (We'll discuss pom-poms another time.) Then comes the team "mascot," often a farm animal, or a human dressed like one. Mascot uniforms are sometimes very silly, and not appropriate wearing apparel for, say, a wedding. Next come two teams that wear different colors, plus a helmet to hide their identities from the opponents they'll tackle later. For the next three hours each squad tries to go from one end of the field to the other. Pay attention to the quarterback, who controls the football. Sometimes he throws it to a teammate (a "pass"). Sometimes he hands it to somebody (a "handoff"). And occasionally he may tiptoe to the sidelines, and give some cheerleader a big, wet kiss. This is called the "quarterback sneak." There's more to tell, Sport Watcher, but I gotta go. On TV, they're about to show a "quarterback sneak" instant replay. Poor Rix offers bad answers to good questions. Contact him at rixquinn@charter.net. Rix authored the recent writing book "Words That Stick." It's available from http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/1580085768/qid/ For details on his weekly column, call him directly at 817-920-7999.
MORE RESOURCES:
Humor - Google News |
|
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
I Got to Play an April Fools Joke Before I was Born I will start this by saying that yes, I did miss being an April Fool, but only by a tiny margin. I was born just twenty minutes after midnight on April 2nd, and the events of the prior day in my home were quite interesting to say the least. Silver Linings Are Everywhere Viagra. That one word packs a lot of punch. Internet is My True Agent You know the type -- that doodling type. Every time there is a pen and paper on the table, they will be sketching something down, with a mysterious smile, giggling quietly and making funny faces. Nine Movies That Make You Want To Yell, Stop Saying That Movie moments are nice things to share with the people you care about. Most of those shared moments consist of "Remember that one part when the guy with the thing?" and before they can finish you're interjecting with your own vague, "Oh totally, I love that part!" But occasionally this process extends beyond an inner circle and goes global in its reach. Humor Under The Keyboards For me, the piano is the symbol of what is stiff, proper and elegant. It doesn't have faults, it is perfect. Short Story: Take a Trip To The Temple Of The Great Tomato Jimmy Jenkins Jr. is not an adventurer, traveler, or pioneer. [Not So] Outgoing Mail I am currently perplexed by the concept of outgoing mail. I mean, I understand it in theory, but today I tried talking to it and it didn't even respond. Dog Poo - And You Thought You Had Problems In Southern Germany in a town by the name of Bayreuth, the German police are in a quandary. The town's dog poo is under attack. Norm Goldman Interviews Comedienne Fran Capo,the Guinness Book Worlds Record for the Fastest Talking Today, Norm Goldman, Editor of Sketchandtravel & Bookpleasures is delighted to have as a guest, Fran Capo.Fran is quite a "cool person," as she is an eight-time author, humorist, voiceover artist, comedienne, adventurer, actress, freelance writer and keynote motivational speaker. He Had It Coming, Your Honor This past week as Mr. Man and I lounged around our sprawling estate, I realized that my life is just way too laid back. The Restaurant Chronicles, Part 1 Have you ever heard that saying, "The show must go on"? When you hear it, you think of what is commonly referred to as "Show-biz," don't you? But where can you go to see the best acting money can buy, any day of the week? No, I'm not talking about the theatre or TV. I'm talking about the "Restaurant-biz. Sell [Your] Phones Today while driving I saw a young girl, probably around 11 years old, on a cell phone. She was walking along the side of the street talking to someone, and I couldn't help but think that maybe she was talking to someone across the street because she wasn't allowed to cross it. If, An Online Marketers Internet Addiction Poem, Can You Relate to This? IF, An Online Internet Marketing PoemIf before you have turned on the coffee, or got your kids fed, If you are the last one dressed and ready to leave the house, While others in the family get ready, your still moving a mouse.If you have more friends online, than you do in real life, And hubby refers to you as his cyber wife. Important Safety Tip$ I was given a list of Do's and Don'ts of interacting with people who have dementia. I've modified this list only slightly to guide you in safely interacting with corporate executives. When It Rains, It Pours: Creating a Plan It's time for me to announce that I have a lot of skeletons in my closet. I keep them there to stop people from stealing my jackets. If Real People Ran the Bank - I (a spoof for the heart) Banish Loans ForeverIf ordinary, hard-working, people ran the bank.. Health Club Regulars -- Some of the People Youre Likely To Meet at the Gym One of the great benefits of belonging to a health club is the huge variety of exercise equipment that's available. It's also a great place to meet and observe a wide cross section of society. Poor Rixs Almanac 8-13-05 Dear Poor Rix: A guy just invited me to a football game. I do not understand this event. To See Or Not To See I went to the eye doctor the other day. I thought it was time to have my eyes checked. Psychiatric Psychiatrist - A Joke on Psychiatry A few weeks ago I went to see a psychiatrist.We talked about how I was feeling.
|
| home | site map |
| © 2006 |
