Dating Information

Dating at Midlife: Whats First?


More American women over 45 are single, than ever before. According to the latest population surveys, someone turns 50 every 8 seconds in the U.S. and more than half of that figure is female.

According to Christian Science Monitor writer, Marilyn Gardner, "To newly minted singles coming out of long marriages, the prospect of dating can be daunting."

At the initial phase of dating, the boomer woman may want to ask herself, "why date?" In other words, what is the objective?

In 2003, AARP conducted a study asking participants why they dated and found "the single most important...reason...is to have someone to talk to or do things with." This reason accounted for almost half of the singles in the study.

One woman from an email group didn't agree, "If these two reasons were the only reason for a woman to date it might be less complicated if she ran around with another woman instead of a man. She wouldn't have to worry about giving the guy the wrong signals. If I dated a guy it would also be because I found him sexually attractive," she said.

Other reasons from the study included: to have fun, find a partner, find someone to marry and to fulfill sexual needs.

Understanding why you want to date is an important first step in the process. This gives you a clear objective and eliminates unnecessary time spent in relationships that have nothing to do with your objective.

In addition to dating motivations, the new single should consider what type of relationship they want. Susan Dunn, EQ coach of Momentum Coaching asks, "Companionship without commitment? Is that with or without sex? Do you want long-term and sex? Is that with or without commitment? Friend with benefits? Benefits without friendship? Marriage? Is that marriage with or without fidelity?"

Once you know what you want, you can learn to ask for what you want. Don't be shy when you begin dating, the time (and heart) you save is your own.

Knowing when you're ready to date is just as important as why. Generally, experience and distance from relationships gives a person not just a needed break, but also some insight into their motivations and what they need from a relationship.

If you're going to step out again here are a few things to consider:

  • Are you mentally prepared to deal with whatever situation may arise?
  • Is your self-esteem at a high point?
  • Do you have confidence in your choices and avoid second guessing yourself?
  • If you have these three collared, you're ready to get back out there.

    Carla R. Herrera is a freelance writer and author of The Contemporary Woman's Guide to Midlife: Essays and Resources for Life Transitions. She's currently working on her next book, Contemporary Woman's Guide to Midlife Dating and publishes an online magazine for midlife women, 40+


    MORE RESOURCES:

    Boston Globe

    Toyota, Honda US Slump Ends Gains Dating to Mid-90s
    Bloomberg - 4 hours ago
    ... than a third in December as the recession and weak consumer confidence ended annual gains for Japan’s two largest automakers dating to the mid-1990s. ...
    Video: Chrysler, Toyota, Lead Declines in Auto Sales AssociatedPress
    ECONOMY | US automakers lag foreign sales Chicago Sun-Times
    GM’s 2008 US Sales Dive to 49-Year Low on Recession Bloomberg
    all 2,118 news articles


    Mate1 Dating Site - Holiday Coupon Code - 3 Months FREE!
    CRN, NY - 11 hours ago
    Mate1 Dating Site - Holiday Coupon Code - 3 Months Absolutely Free! Mate1 boasts a membership of over 16 million online daters with a ratio of 50% men and ...


    Online Dating Sites Flirt With Record Growth
    Forbes, NY - 3 hours ago
    The recession may be biting into profits for most, but singles looking to save money are boosting the online dating industry. With the current downturn in ...


    Spike in Internet dating
    MSNBC - Jan 4, 2009
    FORT MYERS: While some businesses are sinking in the current economy many Internet dating sites have seen smooth sailing. Evelyn Plog is one of the lucky ...


    Find True Love in 90 Days--Really! Revolutionary Dating Book by ...
    PR Web (press release), WA - 4 hours ago
    Psychologist Dr. Diana Kirschner helps women answer these questions once and for all in her new dating book, Love in 90 Days: The Essential Guide to Finding ...


    E! Online

    Are George Clooney and Paris Hilton dating?
    The Week Magazine - 13 hours ago
    Clooney does have “a history of dating floozies,” said Melissa Niksic in the Daily Herald, and several gossip sites are claiming that Clooney and Hilton ...
    George Clooney rumoured to be dating Paris Hilton Melbourne Herald Sun
    Why do Hollywood's hottest hunks settle for stupid skanks?! Chicago Daily Herald
    Scandal Sheet: Clooney and Hilton? Pul-eze! National Post
    Washington Post Blogs
    all 15 news articles


    Michelle Obama Opens Up About Dating Barack
    Blackvoices - 14 hours ago
    "What kinda name is Barack Obama?" "This guy's gotta be kinda weird." These are the initial thoughts that ran through Michelle Obama's mind when she first ...


    Dating Drama: My New Year’s Sex And Dating Resolutions
    The Frisky, Georgia - 17 hours ago
    The minute I say I want X, I find myself doing Y. At the same time, I’m not crazy about the idea that dating is a random act over which I have no control. ...


    TopNews

    Hugh OK with exes dating other men
    Times of India, India - 22 hours ago
    Another of Hefner’s exes Holly Madisson is dating beau Criss Angel. Meanwhile, Holly Madison is set to appear on the sixth season of Hefner’s reality show, ...
    Hugh Hefner's home wedding Monsters and Critics.com
    Hefner's first love? The movies AZ Central.com
    all 36 news articles


    New York Times

    Killings Prompt Efforts to Spot and Reduce Abuse of Teenagers in ...
    New York Times, United States - Jan 3, 2009
    Her death in 2007 in Indianapolis is one of several stemming from abuse in teenage dating relationships that have spurred states and communities to search ...

    Dating - Google News

    home | site map
    © 2006